In today’s mobile society, it’s easy to fall in love only to find that you have to move across the country for a job. Or, to fall for someone while visiting another area. Or even to fall in love with someone you meet online who lives thousands of miles from you.
When you ask advice from some people, they may tell you to forget it. You should find someone more geographically desirable.
But you don’t have to give up on your love.
It’ll take some work and diligence, but you can make it work. And besides, every relationship requires work to make it thrive. Every relationship has its issues to resolve… your issue just happens to be distance.
And it’s entirely possible to make a long-distance relationship work for you.
The key to any solid relationship is communication. And that’s no different when it’s a long-distance relationship. In fact, some say it’s even more important for relationships coping with mileage.
But it’s not that it’s more important, it’s that the form is more critical than usual.
First, you need to set clear expectations for communication. You need to avoid excessive communication that starts to feel like you’re keeping tabs on each other. But at the same time, you want to be sure to communicate enough.
The idea is to find a balance that helps you feel connected to each other without feeling possessive or clingy.
You also need to communicate when things aren’t going to plan. Just like couples who live close, courtesy is important. If you told each other you’d speak at a certain time and you won’t be able to keep that time, you need to call right away to let them know.
Little communications like these are just as important to your relationship as the bigger visits.
Some people will think that because you’re not living near each other, then you can’t be truly committed to each other. But if you and your partner commit to making the distance work for you instead of against you, you can prove the doubters wrong.
Part of that commitment is to live your separate lives while still getting to know each other better and building a relationship together
Many couples make the mistake of thinking that since they cannot attend events together, then they shouldn’t go. But skipping drinks with your friends just makes your life narrow and breeds resentment.
Instead, you both need to continue to lead full lives and then share all the details. Where some people would think that would lead to jealousy, it actually keeps you both interesting. You’ll have more things to talk about when you talk next.
For long-distance relationships, making the most of your time together is critical. When you manage to visit each other, be sure to meet all the important people for at least short visits.
Sure, you don’t have much time together, but you still need to do all the things that a geographically advantaged couple would do. You need to do things like have dinner with the parents, meet up with the friends, and visit with anyone else important to your partner.
Try to never head home without an idea of when you’ll see each other again. It’s not about having the date and plans, it’s about seeing each other make an effort to find time together.
And when you’re apart, you can still do things together that help you feel close. Playing online video games together is one way to do something together yet apart. Use video calling while you take a walk to show each other where you are. Video chat while you shop online together.
Thanks to the internet, your options to connect are endless.
A real connection can be hard to maintain in a long-distance relationship. To make the distance disappear, you have to put in a little effort to connect.
Phone calls and communicating on a daily basis are a good place to start. But social media can be a great way to add those little moments through your day. Tweet a cheery message. Tag them in something funny or cute or romantic.
A good messaging app can be great, too. You can send each other voice and video messages directly to each other’s phones. Think of this as the equivalent of leaving little notes for your loved one to find. Get creative.
Another great way to feel connected is to do similar things. Choose a movie you should both see, read the same book, take up a new hobby to learn t the same time. This creates a shared experience even if you’re not sharing it in the moment.
Your travel arrangements can help you connect, too. Not only should you travel to visit each other, but it’s also a good idea to try to meet up places. These shared travels help you to feel connected while you’re apart.
To make a long-distance relationship work, generosity is important.
Flowers or balloons on special occasions are traditional, but you can take it to new levels. Send them a gift through the mail to let them know you’re thinking of them. See a book you know she’ll love? Send it. See something he can use for his favorite past time? Send it.
But being generous isn’t just about giving things. It’s about giving yourself.
You can also show your generosity by sending an old-fashioned letter. It shows that you’re generous with your time and with your thoughts. Not great with the writing? No trouble… send a quote on a postcard.
It’s about showing that you’re thinking of them.
Being in a relationship is about building something together. Your normal, everyday routines are part of the foundation of that relationship.
Being your “everyday” self with your partner is important. Some people may feel that you have to always be “on” when you talk with your partner since you don’t see each other every day. But you can’t hide your bad days — or your partner will think you’re fake.
A good place to start is with a good morning and a good night the way that couples living closer together would do.
You should also make sure that you’re sharing your day the way geographically local couples do. Talk about everything – your day at work, their errands, your friends and family. It’s the normal everyday stuff that tends to solidify a relationship.
Like any other relationship, a long-distance love is a journey. Journeys take planning and the ability to adapt when things don’t go according to plan.
So, be flexible, be positive, and be happy.